Angry DadAngry Dad
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Kidsmedium

The Wi-Fi Goes to Bed When You Do

It's a school night. The router has opinions now.

The problem

The kids swear they're asleep. The 1am YouTube traffic says otherwise.

What it does

At lights-out, the kids' devices lose internet. A 10-minute warning fires first so it isn't a war crime. Weekends get a later curfew.

You'll need

  • Router integration (e.g. UniFi/OPNsense) or per-device switches
  • input_datetime for curfew (optional)

The payoff

Sleep. Yours and theirs.

The YAML

alias: "Angry Dad — Kids' Wi-Fi Curfew"
description: Warns, then cuts the kids' internet at bedtime. Later on weekends.
mode: single
triggers:
  - trigger: time
    at: "20:50:00"
    id: weeknight_warn
  - trigger: time
    at: "21:00:00"
    id: weeknight_cut
  - trigger: time
    at: "21:50:00"
    id: weekend_warn
  - trigger: time
    at: "22:00:00"
    id: weekend_cut
conditions: []
actions:
  - choose:
      - conditions:
          - condition: trigger
            id: weeknight_warn
          - condition: time
            weekday: [mon, tue, wed, thu, sun]
        sequence:
          - action: notify.mobile_app_kids_tablet
            data:
              message: "10 minutes. Wrap it up."
      - conditions:
          - condition: trigger
            id: weeknight_cut
          - condition: time
            weekday: [mon, tue, wed, thu, sun]
        sequence:
          - action: switch.turn_off
            target:
              entity_id: switch.kids_wifi
      - conditions:
          - condition: trigger
            id: weekend_warn
          - condition: time
            weekday: [fri, sat]
        sequence:
          - action: notify.mobile_app_kids_tablet
            data:
              message: "10 minutes. It's the weekend, don't push it."
      - conditions:
          - condition: trigger
            id: weekend_cut
          - condition: time
            weekday: [fri, sat]
        sequence:
          - action: switch.turn_off
            target:
              entity_id: switch.kids_wifi

Drop this into an automation (or a package under config/packages/) and swap the entity IDs for your own.

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